Just because you aren’t racist, doesn’t mean you never have a racist thought or say something racist.
If you aren’t homophobic, you will still sometimes express a bigoted sentiment.
Even if you are not sexist, sometimes you will say something or believe something that is.
If you don’t fear trans people, it doesn’t mean you don’t have transphobic thoughts.
Hate is not the same as prejudice, although they overlap. We all exist in dominant cultures that are all of these things and so we are all affected by them. The point is to listen when you are called out on something you have said. The point is to not feel comfy in your priviliges and to be prepared to understand when you have absorbed more of the dominant memes than you realise.
Until truely unbiased and fair cultures are achieved we all, no matter how progressive we think we are, need to be aware that we may well be expressing those privileges we do have. It is not an either or thing.
well said! for me the important thing is to be aware. i do have,and will continue to have,likes and dislikes and prejudices and judgements. if i am aware of these then i can look into them and,when i do,i find that fear always lies behind them.
if i don’t indulge these feelings by acting on them or compound my difficulties by piling on guilt or shame then i can face fear.
and fear,when looked at fearlessly,is always a paper tiger.